Make Tea Not War

I mentioned before that I once made a comic about making a cup of tea... if you ever for a second wondered what that would be like, wonder no more...

In which I burst onto the job market like the blazing sun on a glorious spring day

It has finally happened. I am fully percent employed. Take that, recession! I now feel like a slight fraud, blogwise, as one of the reasons for this whole blogging thing was to distract me from unemployment and chronicle my uselessness. All four people reading this can, however, rest assured that there will be many tales of employed incompetence/surburban office japes to come...and there's lots of potential for more hilarious eavesdropping during the many hours of my commute. For those interested, this is the job I hobbled to the interview for with a limp, got lost, and admitted to only joining my extracurricular activities because they were attended by Certain Gentlemen. These practices were not mentioned in any of the numerous interview books I read, an omission I intend to rectify as soon as possible.

Having acheived the short term goal of Gainful Employment, I should probably draw up some longer term Life Goals To Make Me a Better Person. I'm considering oragami and re-learning the Cello. Suggestions are welcome.

CS Lewis = Badass

The jury is out on whether I can get away with the word 'badass'...I've been inspired by Lauren Leto, Literary Blogger Extraordinaire, but then she is American. I think they might have a monopoly on the word 'badass'. Perhaps I should use the phrase 'Extremely Good Chap' instead. CS Lewis is an Extremely Good Chap. He said this, and it is Awesome:

"Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

In the spirit of Lewis and childish things...this place is AMAZING:

http://www.pollockstoymuseum.com/

All you need is Love...and scissors

Rob Ryan is an artist/illustrator who makes sillouette paper cut things.
Rob Ryan is amazing.
Rob Ryan taught me how to love.
Rob Ryan makes me want to be a better man. (N.B. I'm not a man)

This is Rob Ryan:

http://www.misterrob.co.uk/

Sugar and Spice and all things Nice

I stumbled/tripped over/bumped into this place a while ago on what turned out to be a Very Good Day - I interviewed comedians, had dim sum, went to an avant-garde production of Hamlet in a disused office block and met an incredibly drunk chap on the way home who was very impressed by all of the above. Fingers crossed I shall in time meet someone else who is impressed with me and is also able to comport himself in a soberly fashion. In the meantime there's always sweets...

The Sweetshop: Hope and Greenwood

The Comedians: The Penny Dreadfuls

See my interview here

Lost London Loves

I think it's pretty much on record that London is awesome; as Samuel Johnson once said, "When a man is tired of London, he is a douchebag."

There are many things I love about London. I love the fact that it's got so much history it doesn't know what to do with it - did you know there's been a church on the site of Westminster Cathedral since 200AD(ish)?

I love that the one time I had occasion to go into the offices of Vogue, I met the receptionist; who contrary to expectation was an old man who was seventy-plus or I'm a wombat. He called me "dearie".

I love that if you go even slightly off the beaten track you find gems you would never know were there; nothing makes me feel more like a Londoner than being able to say "oh you want a purveyor of obscure cartography? follow me..." My only problem is quite often I stumble upon these amazing places/things/people and can never find them again. I quite like that though; it's like the city is playing hide and seek with me. I thought I'd share some here so you can join the game if you want. First up, my Favourite Bench In All The World:



I know it's on the South Bank somewhere but whenever I try and find it I always end up freaking out the couples who are trying to have a Romantic Moment Looking At the Thames. More Lost London Loves to come...

Recruitment Faux pas...

We've all done it...in an interview you suddenly realise you've said too much, laughed unconvincingly hard at your interviewer's joke, or realised on the way that the raindrop you felt on your head was in fact a pigeon. And it wasn't a raindrop. In an attempt to save others from a similar fate, here are some of mine...

1. Arriving to interview with a stye and a limp (see below.)
2. When discussing your extracurricular activities, admitting you only joined the gospel choir in the first place because a Certain Gentleman of Your Acquaintance was in attendance, and you hoped that in all the ShoopShoop-ing and Hallelujahs, your eyes would meet across the crowded room and all other voices would fade away as in your hearts you were singing only to each other...(N.B. This did not happen. It should also be abundantly clear at this point that one of my more charming qualities is my rich inner life.)
3. Letting slip that the only reason you joined the staff of the university magazine in the first place was to meet comedians you Find Intriguing (N.B. This is Meedja Slang for "Find Devastatingly Attractive"). I still maintain that this is not stalking, it is journalism.

In short, what I have learnt from this is to LIE MORE. And don't limp so much.